Ten different things you wish you could say to ten different
people right now.
1. I hate you for changing the course of my life without my
permission. It’s not fair that you get to be happy while I am miserable. You
deserve to be miserable, not me.
2. I am so tired of hearing about how much you are dieting. The last time I checked, McDonald's and Popeye's were not on any weight loss plan.
3. You have the whiniest voice ever. Every time you speak I
want to gouge my eyeballs out with a dull pencil.
4. You are the most adorable guy ever. If you would grow up,
we would be the perfect match. Call me when you are ready for a real
relationship.
5. There is a reason why you have drama with every single
person at work. Step back and take a good look. The common denominator is you.
6. You are the best surrogate mom EVER. I can come to you to
talk about anything and you always make me feel better. Thank you for being so
caring.
7. You are the biggest, most arrogant bitch I have ever come
in contact with. If I met you in a back alley, I would deck you square in the
nose. I have never in my life met someone as rude as you.
8. A bit of friendly advice: if he will cheat with you, he
will cheat on you. Fair warning, it’s gonna happen.
9. I love you and your 2 girls more than words can say. You
are the best friend I have ever had. I hate that you moved 20 minutes away.
But, I promise to make every effort to come see you as often as possible.
10. Don’t fool
yourself. You know as well as I do that 90% of what comes out of your mouth is
a lie or the hugely exaggerated truth. And don’t be mad when I call you out on
it. Don’t spit out bullshit, and I won’t call you on it.
Nine things people may not know about you.
1. I want to have kids so badly. I know I am only 22 years
old, but I feel like time is ticking.
2. I am naturally good at most things. I learn quickly and can
perform just about anything well. And no, I am not bragging. It’s actually kind
of annoying that people catch on and expect only the best out of you. It makes
it kind of difficult to slack off.
3. I have an obsessive personality. I find something I enjoy
and do it in excess and obsess about it.
4. I LOVE to coupon. It’s lame, I know. But it’s a fun and
harmless hobby, so back off.
5. Stupidity pisses
me off. Fix it.
6. I cannot stand social gatherings. I do not want to stand
around and shoot the shit with a bunch of people I barely know. No. Leave me
alone.
7. I love reality TV.
8. I want to be successful in my career, but the most
important thing to me is to raise a family. I am willing to sacrifice some
careers aspects for family life.
9. Don’t tell me I can’t do something. I can and I will.
Eight ways to win my heart.
1. Respect my morals and beliefs. You don’t have to agree,
but don’t try to convince me that you know better.
2. Make me laugh.
3. Be intelligent, but don’t flaunt it. Your random tidbits
of knowledge don’t impress me.
4. Dark hair and blue eyes.
5. Don’t have excessive body hair. That grosses me out.
6. Do not wear cowboy attire. I hate boots, wranglers, big
belt buckles, and all other redneck wear. Not attractive.
7. Be nice to my dogs. Just because they aren’t the breed
you would choose does not make them less of animals. I love them more than you.
8. Love the movies that I love. Even if you don’t. Fake it
til you make it.
Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
1. You are a babbling idiot.
2. No, you can’t check out here. This is the returns desk.
Walk your lazy ass down to the check-out lanes.
3. I really don’t want to work out today.
4. If I can just take a quick nap then I will do what I need
to do when I wake up.
5. This world is going to shit.
6. Do I have a coupon for that?
7. Am I forgetting something?
Six things you do before you fall asleep.
1. Go to the bathroom.
2. Turn on the air.
3. Plug my phone into the charger.
4. Set the alarm.
5. Count the hours until I have to be up so I can decide how
long to watch tv.
6. Make sure the house alarm is set.
Five things you notice in the opposite sex.
1. Style
2. Hair
3. Teeth
4. Maturity level
5. Intelligence level
Four things you never wish you did/had.
1. Put my self-worth in someone else’s hands.
2. Wasted time going to school for something I didn’t like.
3. Agreed to be in a wedding.
4. Allowed him to decide my fate.
Three songs that describe your life.
1. “Stay” by Mayday Parade
2. “You’re Dead Wrong”
by Mayday Parade
3. “If You Wanted a Song Written About You, All You Had to
Do Was Ask” by Mayday Parade (I am really in to Mayday Parade right now.)
Two things you want to do before you die.
1. Swim with dolphins in Hawaii.
2. Raise a family.
One confession.
1. I care what people think about me way more than I let on.
I guess I hope that if I don’t show that I care, eventually I will stop
working. So far, it isn’t going as planned.
